


Bonded and Balanced

by MelodeeKS99



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-12 14:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13549581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelodeeKS99/pseuds/MelodeeKS99
Summary: Rey prepares to meet Ben face to face after months apart after fighting together in Snoke's throne room.  She remembers times the Force has bonded them as the prepares to land the Falcon in the Lake Country on Naboo.  She focuses on meetings that happened after Crait as she tried to forgive him and they grew closer in many ways.





	Bonded and Balanced

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iamladyloki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamladyloki/gifts).



“Finally. Are you okay?” Ben asked, projected from R2D2 as a small hologram on the dash.  

“I’m fine.  We’ll be there soon.”  Rey assured him, trying to hide her excitement.

It had been months since Rey and Ben had been together last; decidedly in the same place at the same time.  That didn’t stop the Force from connecting them.  It knew no rules of time, emotion, or of human need - and definitely not of human propriety.  

This had bothered Rey at first, on Ahch-to, and then again after she’d escaped with the Resistance from Crait.  Ben would show up when she was in meetings with Resistance leaders, as she slept, trained, or even when she was showering.  Though, despite his corrupt inclinations, he was respectful - or tried to be.

Rey tried to ignore him after Crait.  She was angry and though he was repentant, her rage wouldn’t fade with ease.  He apologized, time and again, but it wasn’t until the death of his mother - and Rey’s witness to his grief - she was reminded he was only human and that scene put her on the path to forgiveness.

Their connection through the Force, which revealed his grief, had not lasted long.  She was alone in her room, grieving for the loss of the woman she’d grown to respect and even to love, when she felt the connection to Ben and turned to see him on his knees, weeping.  He said his mother’s name and that was all.  It was all he could say through his crippling grief and all her mind required to understand.

The time they met after that, Rey had just finished a conversation with Poe and Finn.  She was once again explaining that Kylo Ren - they didn’t like it when she called him Ben Solo - had killed Snoke to save her life.  The men insisted he planned the entire incident to take over the First Order.  She felt that Finn and Poe were ganging up on her and the doubt they instilled made her angry.  When Ben arrived in her room, she verbally attacked him, accusing him of what she had just been trying to defend him against.  He was upset and insisted his intention was to save her, and she trusted his claim.

After that Rey didn’t waste time pretending to be angry.  Ben had already apologized several times and though she’d tried to ignore him, part of her had taken the words as an antidote, slowly beginning to heal the wounds his betrayal had left on her heart.  His pain and regret eased the disappointment she’d felt.

Now, as she and R2D2 flew over Naboo, she imagine a meeting via the Force from months before, when she had arrived in his room at the end of the day.  He lay in bed, awake, but still as a statue; his thoughts kept him awake and distracted him from her arrival.   _ Statue indeed,  _ she thought, scanning his body from head to toe.  He was clad only in sleeping pants; she’d never seen him so informally dressed.  She watched the way his stomach and chest flexed, holding him up on his side.  His head rested on his bicep, his hand hanging over his raven hair.  She went to him, sat on the edge of his bed, and shocked him so thoroughly he flinched, falling onto his back, then relaxed quickly as she smiled.  

“You surprised me.” He said, laying his hand on his chest to feel his frantically beating heart.  She had an urge to do the same and blushed, looking away.  He reached for her hand and she turned back, surprised.  “Don’t hide.  Not from me.”  He said, sitting up.

“You say that like we’re close.  We hardly know each other.”  Rey said casually.

“Hardly?” His jaw dropped and he looked away.  “Hardly know....” He repeated in the same tone she had used.

“I mean… I haven’t known you long.”

“And yet, sweetheart… somehow, you know me better than anyone.”

Her eyebrows raised sympathetically.  “Ben… that’s so sad.”

“I don’t think so.”  He leaned closer and she was hesitant to let him, but their noses were almost touching now and she liked it.  “It doesn’t mean I have no one I’m close to.  It’s simply evidence of our connection and my feelings for you.”

“Your feelings?”

A smile played at the ends of his lips and she looked down, shortly hypnotized by their fullness and tempted to press her lips to his.  

“I trust you, so I shared my feelings with you.  You know me because you took the time to find out the truth.  You are intelligent, good, and sincere.  I’m not quick to let people near me.  I’ve been betrayed too many times, but you have earned my trust for being just who you are.”

“There is good in you as well.  Ben, you…”

He put his finger up to quiet her, a slow shushing sound escaping from his lips, hypnotizing her once again.  She shook the temptation and frowned, looking up into his eyes.  “Don’t you…”

“Rey please.”  He pleaded.  “I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I’m not in the mood for your heroism.  I’m not saying it’s impossible, but you’re not saving my soul tonight.”  He laid back again, his dark hair resting around his head on the pillow, one hand over his head and one on his belly.  

She turned to face the wall, her back to him, inhaling deeply through her nose and releasing it slowly as she relaxed her body.  Maybe he had a point.  Why not leave it all behind, just for tonight?  This was the first time they’d been civil together since they’d fought back to back in Snoke’s throne room and she didn’t want to argue.

He was also right about their connection; it was special and they did have a natural familiarity.  Their feelings were stronger than she liked to let on, especially since she had to keep it a secret from everyone else.  Though, now that she thought about it, the fact that no one else knew about the connection made it even more special between the two of them.  If there was any feeling or thoughts she needed to convey, it had to be with him.

The memory of their fight in the throne room flashed in her mind again and she stiffened.  It was strange how little fear she had felt, though they were vastly outnumbered by an elite guard.  Somehow, with Ben by her side, she knew they would be alright.  The way they’d turned, each spinning to face the enemy approaching, to protect the other.  Fighting off the guards so none would pass to get to him, turning to stab through one who would have had a clear shot at him as he blocked the attack of two others, and even leaning on him for support as she fought.   _ Had that really happened? _  She dreamed of it sometimes at night and even thought during the day.  She had arched her back, leaning against his, placed her hand down on his thigh, and he’d launched her forward into the red clad guards coming toward her.

“Rey.” He said quietly, sitting up again.  She had been quiet for so long, playing with a strand of hair with her fingers.  He put his hand on her shoulder and she looked down at it, watching how his fingers moved softly against her bare skin.

“Was it all a dream?” She asked, looking up into his dark eyes.  He was so lovely like this; calm and kind.

His brow furrowed slightly, an indication that she should explain herself.

“Snoke telling you to kill me?  You killing him instead, saving my life.  Fighting back to back?  You launching me forward from your back without me asking or signaling in anyway?”

Something burned in his eyes and he lowered them to her hand, sitting beside her on the bed.  He removed his fingers from her shoulder, lifted her hand, and placed it on his leg above the knee.  “I remember Snoke lying.”  He looked up, leaning close again; their noses touching.  “I remember the look in your eyes when you said my name, pleading to spare your life; though I had already made the decision.  Your hand raised just in time to grab the saber as I brought it to you.  You turned to fight with me and I remember your hand on my thigh…”  

Their lips connected and it wasn’t clear who made the first move.  Rey turned her body to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck.  She climbed onto his lap and tangled her fingers in the dark waves of his hair. He pulled back, looking deeply into her eyes.  “Hardly?”  He rolled his eyes then said, “You’re everything to me and I will know every part of you.”

 

That night changed everything, but Ben didn’t know yet to what extent.  Additional Force-bonded meetings had brought them closer together, but nobody knew what Rey had recently discovered.  She was small and they couldn’t see the change in her body.  They couldn’t feel the child moving inside her belly as she had for the first time two nights ago.  She saw Ben that night and told him they needed to meet in person.  It would be nice to meet face to face without relying on the Force.  Plus, this was news she wanted to deliver in person.  She would meet him in Naboo, using the coordinates he provided, after she’d seen a doctor.  R2D2 helped her locate one on Naboo where they made their first stop, before heading to the Lake Country.

 

Before she could descend from the  _ Millenium Falcon _ , Ben’s long strides brought him quickly up the ramp to greet her.  He was once again clothed in a way that surprised her, like when they’d been connected while he visited Tatooine: the umber shades so different from his usual black on black, over more black.

Now, beside a lake on Naboo, he was in a deep green, which blended well with the lush surroundings.  He bent his knees, wrapping his long arms around her waist and lifting her off her feet, burying his nose in her hair.

“Ben!” She giggled, raising her shoulders to protect her neck.  

“You’re safe.  I couldn’t get a hold of you.  I was so worried.”

Rey shook her head, smiling at him.  She wasn’t ready to reveal where they’d been, yet.

He smiled and grabbed her hand, leading her out across the grass to a house built right up to the banks of the lake.

“This is lovely.  Are we staying here?”

“Yes.  It’s my family’s home, passed down from my grandmother.”  He opened the door for her and began showing her around.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone mention your grandmother.”

He smiled.  “That’s surprising.  Padme Amidala?”  He ask, but Rey shrugged feeling naive.  “She was queen of Naboo, Senator for Naboo, and deeply involved in the Clone Wars.”  He opened another door and led Rey out to a terrace overlooking the lake.

“Wow.  She was quite accomplished.”  Rey said casually.  “To say the least.”

Ben turned his head, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.  “You have something to tell me.” He guessed from her vague response. 

She faced him and nodded.  He raised his eyebrows and she reached out to hold his hands.  “I wasn’t sure for a while.” She said, putting on the most serious expression she could muster.  “I couldn’t risk seeing a doctor with the Resistance: there would be too many questions and they may start to doubt me.”

Ben frowned.  He dropped her hands and reached for her waist.  “Tell me you’re okay.”  He pleaded, his eyes swimming in newly formed tears.  “Are you sick?”

Rey’s eyes began to water as well.  “I’m pregnant.” She said, finally smiling.  

The despair disappeared, replaced with awe.  “Are you serious?  Please tell me you’re serious.” He said.

“Yes, seriously; I’m pregnant!” She said again.  It felt amazing to say the words out loud.  She longed for the day they weren’t required to keep these secrets.  It would have to happen soon, with the situation they were in now.  She felt grateful to have him.

Ben fell to his knees, his head still up to her waist, and he hugged her around her middle gently.  “I’ve never been so happy in my entire life.”  He said, his brown eyes looking up and tears streaming down his face.  “You’ve saved me, Rey.”  He lowered his face and pressed his ear to her belly.  “I’ve been through so much and felt sadness and hate so deeply, I could have taken my own life.”

“Ben.” She said, reaching for his face.  He let her raise his chin and looked her straight in the eye, then he stood, resting his hands under her jaw and wiping her tears with his thumbs.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s difficult to hear, but I need to say it.  I could have taken my own life: I considered it many times.  This isn’t the first moment you’ve made me grateful I didn’t and it probably won’t be the last.  I just wish I could tell myself then, when I was so full of dread it nearly broke me to pieces, that there’s a reason to carry on.  You just have to try and hold on and open your heart to love when it’s offered.  So, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said graciously.  “Do you think this is the reason we’ve been bonded by the Force?” Rey asked, placing her hand on her belly.

“I don’t know.”  He said honestly.  “I believe it has something to do with our connection to the Force, itself.  It took the two of us, both in need of balance, and pushed us together.  This,” he began, rubbing his hand over her belly, “our love, was unexpected, but a happy accident.”

“I think you’re right.” She said, taking his hand and heading back inside the house.  “Now, tell me… I have a couple ideas, but I’m wondering... what would  _ you _ like to name our daughter?”


End file.
